Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
