no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
