I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
