I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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