I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
