I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
