I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
