your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
