I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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