I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
