So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
