my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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