She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
