I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
that's an acceptable place to lick
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
