we have officially lost it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
