do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
