I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
