You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
