We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
