I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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