I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize