So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
