I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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