i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
