why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
