I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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