I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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