I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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