Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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