just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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