I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
