Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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