do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
