This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Houston, we have a blender
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
