How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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