if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
