Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
