worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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