Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
