K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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