Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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