we're blogging at a bar
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
