I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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