This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
