On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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