i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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