pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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