and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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