Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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