It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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