***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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