Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
A bitchslap is in order.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
